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Your lizard brain is holding you back. Here's how to overcome it. They admit when they're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged.
They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, which is essential to coping with their discomfort in a healthy manner. Whether you've been stood up by a date or turned down for a promotion, rejection stings. Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself--or someone else--it was "no big deal" will only prolong your pain.
The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on. Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they're living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they're not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot. If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone. You can't be sure you're pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you'll know you're putting yourself out there.
Rather than think, "You're so stupid for thinking you could do that," mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message. This kind of thinking crowds out hope and a belief in ourselves — the very things we need to get past feeling bad and want to try again. If you start blaming yourself for the rejection or put yourself down, you can start believing you'll always be rejected.
Thoughts like, "I'll never get a date" or "No one will ever like me" amplify a simple rejection to disaster level. Rejection can hurt a lot and can be terribly disappointing, but it's not the end of the world. Tell yourself: "OK, so I got rejected this time. Maybe next time, I'll get a 'yes'" or "Oh, well. This is what happened. I don't like it. It's not how I wanted things to work out.
But everyone gets rejected — and I can try again. Think about what you're good at and what's good about you. Remember times when you've been accepted, when you made the cut, when someone told you "yes. Give yourself credit for trying. You took a risk — good for you. Remind yourself that you can handle the rejection.
Even though you were turned down now, there will be another opportunity, another time. Get philosophical: Sometimes things happen for reasons we don't always understand. A rejection is a chance to consider if there are things we can work on.
It's OK to think about whether there's room for improvement or if your goals were higher than your skills. If your skills weren't strong enough this time, maybe you need to work on your game, your studies, your interview technique, or whatever it takes to improve your chances of getting accepted next time.
Use the rejection as an opportunity for self-improvement. Sometimes a rejection is a harsh reality check. But if you approach it right, it could help nudge you in a direction that turns out to be the perfect fit for your talents, personality, and all the really great things that make you who you are. Reviewed by: KidsHealth Medical Experts.
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