Do you ever feel exhausted after spending time with a lot of people? After a day interacting with others, do you often need to retreat to a quiet place and have an extended amount of time all to yourself? One of the major characteristics of this personality type is that introverts have to expend energy in social situations, unlike extroverts who gain energy from such interactions.
That doesn't mean that all introverts avoid social events altogether. Many introverts actually enjoy spending time around others, with one key caveat—introverts tend to prefer the company of close friends.
While an extrovert might go to a party with the goal to meet new people, an introvert intends to spend quality time talking to good friends. As an introvert, your idea of a good time is a quiet afternoon to yourself to enjoy your hobbies and interests. A few hours alone with a good book, a peaceful nature walk or your favorite television program are great ways to help you feel recharged and energized.
This does not mean that the average introvert wants to be alone all the time. Many introverts love spending time with friends and interacting with familiar people in social situations. The key thing to remember is that after a long day of social activity, an introvert will probably want to retreat to a quiet place to think, reflect, and recharge. If having a few hours to be alone sounds like your idea of a good time, you just might be an introvert.
One common misconception about introverts is that they don't like people. While introverts typically do not enjoy a great deal of socializing, they do enjoy having a small group of friends to whom they are particularly close. Instead of having a large social circle of people they know only on a superficial level, introverts prefer to stick to deep, long-lasting relationships marked by a great deal of closeness and intimacy.
Researchers have found that people high in this trait tend to have a smaller group of friends. While extroverts generally have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, introverts typically choose their friends much more carefully. Their closest relationships tend to be profound and significant. They also prefer to interact with people on a one-on-one basis rather than in a large group setting.
If your social circle tends to be small but very close, there's a pretty good chance you are an introvert. Introverts are often described as quiet, reserved, mellow and are sometimes mistaken for being shy. While some introverts certainly are shy, people certainly should not mistake an introvert's reserve for timidity. In many cases, people with this personality type simply prefer to choose their words carefully and not waste time or energy on needless chit-chat.
If you are the quiet type and a bit reserved, you probably are an introvert. When introverts have to spend time in activities or environments that are very hectic, they can end up feeling unfocused and overwhelmed. Extroverts, on the other hand, tend to thrive in situations where there is a lot of activity and few chances of becoming bored.
If you tend to feel overwhelmed in busy social situations, you probably tend to be an introvert. Because introverts tend to be inward-turning, they also spend a great deal of time examining their own internal experiences. If you feel like you have a very good knowledge and insight into yourself, your motivations, and your feelings, you might be more of an introvert.
Introverts tend to enjoy simply thinking about and examining things in their own minds. Self-awareness and self-understanding is important to introverts, so they often devote a great deal of time to learning more about themselves. This might involve exploring hobbies they enjoy, thinking about their lives, and reading books that explore themes and topics that are important to them.
If you feel that you are self-aware and enjoy gaining deep knowledge about yourself, then you might be more of an introvert. Where extroverts tend to prefer to jump right in and learn through hands-on experience, introverts typically prefer learning through observation. While extroverts typically learn through trial and error, introverts learn best by watching.
Introverts like to watch others perform a task, often repeatedly, until they feel that they can replicate the actions on their own. When introverts do learn from personal experience, they prefer to practice somewhere private where they can build their skills and abilities without having to perform for an audience.
If you like to learn more by watching rather than doing, there is a chance that you have a more introverted personality.
As you might imagine, jobs that require a great deal of social interaction usually hold little appeal to people high in introversion. On the other hand, careers that involve working independently are often a great choice for introverts. For example, an introvert might enjoy working as a writer, accountant, computer programmer, graphic designer, pharmacist, or artist. It is important to note that introversion does not necessarily equate with shyness.
In their book, The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal , authors Schmidt and Buss write, "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort.
Shyness indicates a fear of people or social situations. Introverts, on the other hand, simply do not like to spend lots of time interacting with other people. However, introverts do appreciate being around people to whom they are close.
They find engaging in "small talk" tedious but do enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations. Introverts also tend to think about things before talking.
They want to have a full understanding of a concept before they voice an opinion or try to offer an explanation. In an excellent article in Atlantic Monthly , author Jonathan Rauch took on some of the common myths and misconceptions about introverts. While introverts are often labeled as shy, aloof, and arrogant, Rauch explains that these perceptions result from the failure of extroverts to understand how introverts function.
They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. The following are some common introverted traits: [7] X Research source Seeks out solitude. Introverts generally do just fine on their own. In many cases, they prefer to be alone, at least for most of the time. National Institutes of Health Go to source Prefers less stimulation.
This refers most often to social stimulation, but it can also refer to physical stimulation. For example, introverts actually produce more saliva in response to tasting something acidic than extroverts! Noise, crowds, and bright lights i. Prefers to work alone.
Introverts often do not enjoy working in groups. They would prefer to work things out on their own, or collaborate with just one or two people. Strong introverts do not respond to novelty the same way extroverts do. Introverts may have a need for routine and predictability. National Institutes of Health Go to source They may spend significant time planning or reflecting before taking any action, even small ones.
Extroverts like to be around other people. They are often very active, and they generally have a variety of things going on. They just experience their alone time in a different way. The following are some common extroverted traits: Seeks out social situations.
Extroverts are usually happiest when they have a strong social network. People who are extroverts often have a different way of processing dopamine, which makes them excited or pleased when they encounter new and stimulating experiences.
Feels comfortable working in groups. They may get bored easily. They may also jump into an activity or experience too quickly. Recognize that elements of extroversion are biological. Several studies have linked dopamine function to extroversion. One study showed that people with a specific gene that enhanced dopamine were more likely to be extroverted than people without that gene. Take a personality test.
If the price is too much or you don't think it's worth it, you can try a free online tests. There are numerous personality tests that were either based on the MBTI or otherwise measure introversion and extroversion. Figure out whether you are introverted or shy. The flip side of this myth is that extroverted people are always party animals. Neither of these is always true.
Shyness stems from a fear or anxiety over social interaction. Introversion stems from a lower innate need to socialize. Introverts score low on initiating socializing, but they also commonly score low on avoiding it. National Institutes of Health Go to source Research has shown that introversion and shyness have a very low correlation -- i.
Even extroverts can be shy! Shyness is a problem when you feel that it causes you anxiety or interferes with what you want to do.
National Institutes of Health Go to source Support groups and self-acceptance training may help you overcome troublesome shyness. Wellesley College offers a free version of a shyness scale used in research here.
Do you want to go out with others? Do you feel afraid of being embarrassed or not knowing what to say? Do you feel more uncomfortable around members of the opposite sex? A score of above 49 on the Wellesley scale indicates that you are very shy, a score of indicates that you are somewhat shy, and a score below 34 indicates that you are not very shy. Remember that you can be both shy and introverted.
Method 2. Find your optimal anxiety. The theory behind optimal anxiety is that the presence of limited anxiety actually increases your productivity. Because the new job is somewhat uncomfortable for them, they put in extra attentiveness and devotion to prove to themselves and their new boss that they can do the job. Finding your zone of optimal anxiety can be tricky; it involves self-monitoring to find the point at which the anxiety overwhelms the productivity.
An example of stepping outside of your zone of optimal anxiety would be starting a new job without the training or qualifications required to do the job effectively. In this case, the anxiety about not performing effectively would likely overwhelm any potential for productivity.
Push yourself a little bit. Becoming comfortable with getting outside your comfort zone will help you embrace your more extroverted traits, such as enjoying novelty.
Too much extension past your comfort zone creates more anxiety than is helpful, and your performance will plummet. Try to start small. Get comfortable with challenging yourself. One of the benefits of pushing yourself just past your comfort zone is that you will become accustomed to the optimal anxiety that creates. As you teach your brain to embrace novelty, trying new things will become less uncomfortable. The point is not to immediately feel great about trying things that may be new to you.
Do something spontaneous. One trait of extroverts is that they love new experiences and adventure. Introverts, on the other hand, like to plan and think through every detail before taking action. Push yourself to let go of strictly managing your time and plans. As with everything else, start small and familiarize yourself with small spontaneous actions. Small actions like these will help you get more comfortable with spontaneity in safe, rewarding situations.
Plan ahead for group interactions. Even if an introvert has refined or altered their behavior to become more extroverted, they'll likely fall back onto their original ways when they're tired, stressed, anxious, or exhausted.
This, says Klapow, is called our "fallback state. Introverts aren't fixed in their introverted state and can learn extroverted behaviors that make them seem more like extroverts — and even become very comfortable with extroversion. However, that doesn't mean they're innately extroverts. If you're an introvert who has learned to fake it till you make it in extrovert-friendly situations, you'll always need to go home and recharge eventually.
Preferably with the door shut and a nice cup of tea. Erika Martinez , Psy. From desire to development? A multi-sample, idiographic examination of volitional personality change. This article was originally published on July 16, By JR Thorpe. Updated: Feb. Originally Published: July 16, See All Health Relationships Self.
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